Intervention: Reality

No matter how long I keep my eyes squeezed shut, every time I open them back up, I'm still here and nothing has changed. Sometimes I get adventurous and lie with my head off the couch, upside down. Sometimes I try it in the shower.

I keep having this experience where people put things off or ignore them completely because they are not ready to deal with them. Then, when they are ready will push their newly found clarity so you too will deal with the issue, regardless if you're ready (interested) or not. Personal acceptance and mental lucidity are fabulous things, but keep it to yourself. You've just figured out what people have been telling you for years? That doesn't put you in a position to start telling others their misadventures from a recently acquired point of high. That made no sense.

I should have just stayed put. Dug in. Made it work.

Trying.

I have always wanted to fast forward through things, to get to better things. Like now, I'd really like all the upcoming wedding bullshit to not exist, just wake up tomorrow and get married. Poof, no problems, caterers or mothers. Then I could scoot on to B&A's wedding. Then off to our honeymoon.

The sometimes I wish I could pause a day, an afternoon. Or go back. Duh.

It's been a really long time since I've written anything I was proud of. I think the next thing will probably be my wedding vows. So far I like them a lot.