Sunday, January 16, 2011

Surrounded

The boyfriendfiance´ and the dog are both snoring loudly. All I can think about is that I have nothing to think about. I really miss having goals, dreams, career possibilities, aspirations. I am actually considering *gasp* going back to school. But that requires money. And we want/need money for all our other life projects/goals. Like getting married (though we would be JOYOUS to elope), open a food cart and honeymoon in Europe. Minor details.

There are always little crafty projects that seem interesting, but they too take funding. And what is the end result there? A macaroni necklace? The level of execution required is not currently available and I think I've outgrown most of what I am capable of producing.

I can't even finish a blog post.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Intervention: Reality

No matter how long I keep my eyes squeezed shut, every time I open them back up, I'm still here and nothing has changed. Sometimes I get adventurous and lie with my head off the couch, upside down. Sometimes I try it in the shower.

I keep having this experience where people put things off or ignore them completely because they are not ready to deal with them. Then, when they are ready will push their newly found clarity so you too will deal with the issue, regardless if you're ready (interested) or not. Personal acceptance and mental lucidity are fabulous things, but keep it to yourself. You've just figured out what people have been telling you for years? That doesn't put you in a position to start telling others their misadventures from a recently acquired point of high. That made no sense.

I should have just stayed put. Dug in. Made it work.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Trying.

I have always wanted to fast forward through things, to get to better things. Like now, I'd really like all the upcoming wedding bullshit to not exist, just wake up tomorrow and get married. Poof, no problems, caterers or mothers. Then I could scoot on to B&A's wedding. Then off to our honeymoon.

The sometimes I wish I could pause a day, an afternoon. Or go back. Duh.

It's been a really long time since I've written anything I was proud of. I think the next thing will probably be my wedding vows. So far I like them a lot.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Kicked out of Oregon

Dear friends and family,

In case you missed it, here is a summary of our last days in Oregon. Since this 'situation', we have relocated back to Austin for the forseeable future. Hopefully more frequent updates will come due to the abundance of free time on my hands.

As of Friday July 29th, 2010 both my fiancée Ron Richison and myself were asked to resign from the Allison Inn & Spa. I find this to be confusing, unfortunate and unfair for a number of reasons. I would like to address those reasons, as well as several other concerns which have previously gone ignored. I feel that the integrity of this property and its future are in the hands of a few ill-equipped and negligent operators who ignore their team members and have consistently lost some amazing talent because of their attitudes alone.

Firstly, a brief overview of the events from Friday afternoon. To be clear, I have never attended the F&B meetings, nor have I been invited. This day I was required to attend, which in itself made me wary. The preceding of the meeting seemed to follow a usual pace of updates and complaints from around the table, followed by silence or rebukes from Pierre. As multiple issues were brought up, the tension in the room grew exponentially. I sat quietly while Ron smirked. When Pierre brought in a crate of broken china and asked the room how we thought they came to be, I attempted to give the same solution I would’ve presented the week before at a scheduled meeting with Pierre, Ercolino and Mark Waeghe, to which Pierre never showed up. My pitch was, and still is, to create a ‘lead steward’ position in the dish pit. I still feel that the leadership, organization and pride of ownership such a position would bring could only compound a feeling of responsibility, and therefore end in less breakage.
As I was in mid sentence describing what I had witnessed in the electrical room, dish pit, kitchen and trash area, Pierre repeatedly cut me off. While I am not a terribly brave public speaker, I found it necessary to chug through this sentence before stopping to breathe and/or cry from humiliation. Since Pierre saw no purpose in my idea, he scoffed and suggested I “learn from his years of experience.” I said nothing else. He then commented on Ron’s smirk, which prompted him to hand out a letter of resignation, effective September 1, 2010. Pierre threw it back at him, claiming to have already known. As Ron rose to leave, Pierre turned to me and demanded my resignation. I had no intention of leaving but felt so embarrassed and upset that I simply got up and walked out of the room.

To be clear; Ron put in his notice and was told not to return to finish out his last month. I never put in my resignation and was asked to give up my key card and informed that my position had been filled 27 minutes after leaving work. I have yet to be given just cause for my apparent firing, except for perhaps sharing a differing opinion with our GM.

As I mentioned, I’d still like to outline some other concerns about the property itself, to include:
-the highest turnover rate within F&B I have ever witnessed in my short time here in the hospitality industry (see 4 executive chefs within 10 months)
-an astounding lack of communication and willingness to work together between and within departments
-inability to keep normal pantry items in stock (see coffee filters, coffee, soda)
-lack of responsibility on the behalf of the Director of Food and Wine, unless accepting awards for other team members
-mismanaged funding and cuts (see safety issues-missing lightbulbs in employee hallway to save money)
-lack of tools to accurately, sanitarily and safely complete tasks (See kitchen lacking functioning ovens, robocoups, dull slicers, hand soap pumps, china etc)
-lack of growth opportunities within the company
-no training, management or leadership protocol or programs in place
-severely lacking in policies, procedures, training, job duties, clear expectations etc

In short, the management doesn’t seem to be concerned with the happiness of its staff or their ability to correctly and safely complete tasks. In my humble opinion, the service an employee gives is directly reflective of the way they are treated by managers. If the goal of the property is to be five star, then the treatment of their staff should reflect that. To be sure, the near zero percent turnover in banquets is directly reflected in the fact that Mark Waeghe is an excellent manager who constantly puts his team and their families in the foreground. Unfortunately his small successes are constantly overshadowed by staff’s inability to complete tasks due to lacking supplies or tools. This, compounded by an absolute desert of support, communication or acknowledgment by Ercolino or Pierre.

This is by far the most frustrating property I have ever been a part of. The most unfortunate part, is that I for-see a continuing loss of talent and spirit with the labor pool constantly being diminished through quits, fires and a bad reputation. For such a beautiful property, the overwhelming feeling from many staff members is one of discontent. Unless some dramatic changes occur, I feel that F&B in particular will feel the continuing slide downwards, loosing staff and quality of service. For the Austin’s part, I hope I am wrong.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Crestfallen

So I got a letter from the monarch today instead of a simple phone call ANY day last week. Surprise! They decided to promote a server. So I'm still unemployed. I'm actually contemplating taking on a couple of part time nanny jobs.

I am still trying my hardest to stay upbeat and positive but it's hard not to think that there must be something wrong with me. I'm also trying to keep busy with cooking/baking but when a recipe actually does come out right, I eat it. So that's not helping the self-image either.

On the bright side, Mum and Grandma are heading up on Wednesday night. So I'll have ab0ut a week of distraction and good food. I haven't seen my mum since June.

Also I have been informed that I'm receiving a cash out of my college fund seeing as how I graduated. I'm contemplating using the money to move. However I think it'd be silly to spend money in order to move to find work to make money. I'd rather use it to pay bills here and take a trip in Feb to my cousin's wedding on the East coast. And I could buy some pretty rad xmas gifts for a couple of spectacular people.

I also still miss Charlie lots. Like an unhealthy amount. And I'm not 100% what to do about that. It also makes me miss home. Houston home. And my Houston family. My Houston parents.

So anyway each day has ups and downs but I take it step by step because every time I don't succeed, I fail. And I'm not used to that. And I really don't know what I'm supposed to be doing. Because I don't want to do a damn thing. I just feel. And I don't feel happy, for sure.
<3

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Perfect day with my boy and his dog

Ron had today off and he took me and Moxie for a hike outside of Estacada. The 60 mile drive was totally worth it because after a 1.5 miles hike is a natural hot spring. The park service built four private tubs, each hollowed tree trunks which you fill with scalding water from a diverted spring, and mellow with a few buckets of icy river water. Then you get to soak in a wood tub and stare up through the steam into the forest. This was definitely the most relaxing thing we've done in a long, long time.
http://web.oregon.com/hiking/bagby_hot_springs.cfm

And to cap it off we came home and made beef stroganoff with home-made egg noodles. Fantastic day! pictures to come on the Facebook.

About that time again...

So after looking at the calendar this week, I realized Ron and I are beginning our 6th month together! I was also reminded that: I've been unemployed for four of those months. The good news is I had a second interview today at http://www.monarchhotel.cc/ for a banquet captain position, which is essentially what I had been doing for City Kitchen back in Houston. I'm hoping the background check goes smoothly and I'm awaiting a call back by the end of the week.

In other news, Mom and Grandma Helen are heading up for a week on October 21. This is exciting because I have not seen my mother since before she left for Europe and Grandma has never been to Oregon. I already have a long list of places to take them (mostly restaurants) and things ti see and do.

We have also successfully moved (almost) every single one of our many, many boxes into a one bedroom apartment. While unpacking we discovered some interesting duplicates which total: 16 cutting boards, 4 creme brulee torches, 4 sets of mixing bows and an innumerable amount of towels. I've since made several trips to Goodwill and we almost have suitable places for everything. Lastly I'm trying to find a moderately priced fold-out couch. This will inevitably be found at IKEA, which at the moment I'm boycotting due to a previous ill-fated trip to the 'as-is' section.

While being unemployed I have had the opportunity to explore the neighborhood and the rest of the city. Our apartment is 5 blocks to a really nice park, off leash area for Moxie, playground and swimming pool open in the summer. Trader Joe's is also a few block in the other direction, as well as Safeway, Blockbuster, Walgreens etc. I'm quite happy with the location. In addition to the shopping opportunities I have become an urban harvest opportunist. Basically your persimmons, pears, apples, sage, rosemary, chestnuts, figs, walnuts, blackberries, patty pans, grapes, squash blossoms etc which are hanging over the street or left to with at unsold/empty houses are mine for the picking. Not only is this fun, it is financially sound. And so Moxie and I hunt... and gather.

The other exciting thing about being unemployed, and living in an apartment complex, is getting to know your neighbors. From a distance. For example, our immediate neighbors are drug dealers. I know this because I am politely offered whatever is 'fresh' anytime we happen to be outside at the same time. He is also at home most of the day. In the complex that abuts ours in 'fake orgasm girl'. How do I know she's faking it, you ask? If it was real, and that good, it'd be happening a lot more frequently.

The weather has been gorgeous. low 60s-high 70s, usually sunny and blue skies. A few rainy/cloudy/cold days, but for now they are intermittent. Although I did purchase my first pair of wellies.

All for now. Had to find something productive 'cause I'm missing my Charlie boy and cannot sleep just yet.

love to all.
j