So I got a letter from the monarch today instead of a simple phone call ANY day last week. Surprise! They decided to promote a server. So I'm still unemployed. I'm actually contemplating taking on a couple of part time nanny jobs.
I am still trying my hardest to stay upbeat and positive but it's hard not to think that there must be something wrong with me. I'm also trying to keep busy with cooking/baking but when a recipe actually does come out right, I eat it. So that's not helping the self-image either.
On the bright side, Mum and Grandma are heading up on Wednesday night. So I'll have ab0ut a week of distraction and good food. I haven't seen my mum since June.
Also I have been informed that I'm receiving a cash out of my college fund seeing as how I graduated. I'm contemplating using the money to move. However I think it'd be silly to spend money in order to move to find work to make money. I'd rather use it to pay bills here and take a trip in Feb to my cousin's wedding on the East coast. And I could buy some pretty rad xmas gifts for a couple of spectacular people.
I also still miss Charlie lots. Like an unhealthy amount. And I'm not 100% what to do about that. It also makes me miss home. Houston home. And my Houston family. My Houston parents.
So anyway each day has ups and downs but I take it step by step because every time I don't succeed, I fail. And I'm not used to that. And I really don't know what I'm supposed to be doing. Because I don't want to do a damn thing. I just feel. And I don't feel happy, for sure.
<3
Dear Julie,
ReplyDeleteDon't give up. Stick it out and things will get better. If not, my Dad says that there is a 19% chance that sometime in the next 50 years a tsunami will hit the northwest and wipe out Washington and most of Oregon. So you won't have anything to worry about, then! (Damn the internet for making it so easy for crazy people to communicate with each other...)
On another note, im blogging too! well, Sharing a blog (family style!) with Kyle and Stephanie. You'd like it, we write about things we like (but mostly I just bitch about things I hate).
www.soapboxnerds.blogspot.com
<3 J